


Perch

by Cryptographic_Delurk



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Cosmetic Industry, F/F, Family Reunions, Femslash February, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sinophobia, Karaoke, Old Maids, messing around with stereotypes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29727768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryptographic_Delurk/pseuds/Cryptographic_Delurk
Summary: At a wedding reception for Mai’s cousin, Vivian wants to get in good with Mai’s family, Mai would prefer she didn’t, and they find something like compromise in Miss Chouno.
Relationships: Kujaku Mai | Mai Valentine/Vivian Wong, Ms. Chouno & Kujaku Mai | Mai Valentine
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	Perch

**Author's Note:**

> I love those Yu-Gi-Oh conspiracy theories where Mai and Ms Chouno (and Cecelia) look the same because they’re related. So here’s some silly fataleshipping meets awkward family gatherings. Happy FemFeb, y’all~
> 
> And thank you [VeryBadMau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryBadMau) for proofreading and double checking my Mai voice for me <3

“Your family hates me.”

Mai was pretty sure Vivian’s pout was visible from outer space. She stood rigidly, her hand gripped lightly against the top of the car door. As if she might refuse to shut it, refuse to let the driver park, refuse to walk even one more step towards the reception hall. Her other hand clutched the purse hanging off her shoulder, which overflowed with flyers and coupons. It gave her a frazzled look which contrasted with the deliberateness of her dress. The cheongsam – white and embroidered with pink peonies – because Mai’s family was expecting a flighty Chinese starlet, and Vivian wasn’t _not_ going to dress the part. But Mai also knew the new bob cut hair, and the black leggings and flats, were meant to make Vivian appear more conservative than she might otherwise.

It was obvious that Vivian was trying _really hard_. And if Mai was a better girlfriend she might have acknowledged this.

“Of course they hate you!” Mai snapped. “I’m related to them, and they hate me! You think they’re going to like the foreign woman I’m sleeping with?!”

Vivian looked appalled. And scandalised. Because how dare anyone suggest that she was anything less than completely perfect and loved by all.

“I can’t believe you!” Vivian hissed. And for a second Mai thought she might dive back in the car and flee. But Vivian slammed the door instead and swatted the sedan away. “I am an absolute darling! Your family will adore me! You’ll see!”

Vivian stormed off and latched onto the nearest pod of Mai’s many cousins. She waved her flyers and interjected herself into their gossip and small talk, and resolutely ignored Mai’s attempts to recapture her attention. Because if there was anything that defined Vivian more acutely than vanity, it was hotheaded pigheaded stubbornness.

Mai would have counted it a flaw, if she wasn’t acutely aware she had a type.

As appealing it might have been to try to rescue Vivian from the impossible task she’d set herself to (the very same impossible task that Mai had spent her adolescence struggling with) it sounded far more appealing to find the open bar in the reception hall and get sloshed. It was only midday, but Mai’s patience had run thin in the three days leading up to her cousin’s wedding reception. She quietly excused herself for the impulse to curl up in a corner with a bottle of scotch. Nobody bothered Mai on the way there, or even as she made her way through her third round of drinks, because nobody ever did. Mai was an orphan, and the black sheep of the family. She’d spat on the hospitality of the aunt and uncle who took her in by running away to work for a hostess club when she was seventeen. And then she’d had the audacity to become a wildly successful duellist and model and professional gamer on top of that. She was here only out of whatever small devotion required she show up for her cousin-slash-adopted-brother’s wedding, and because Vivian had wanted to meet her family, and that was that.

Unfortunately, Mai’s fourth round of drinks reminded her she was not actually the blackest sheep of the extended Kujaku family.

Mai tried not to groan as Chouno pulled up to the bar – only two seats away and nobody between them.

Chouno let out a hiss of disdain as she observed Mai – loud enough to be noticeable and yet quiet enough to deny. “So this is where all the beautiful lost causes of the family are sitting?” she said sweetly. “Are you still pretending playing around with cards means you’ve made it in show biz?”

“I don’t know, hon,” Mai said dryly. “Are you still teaching?”

“I am,” Chouno agreed lightly. “Although sometimes I wonder why I bother. I hate the kids. They’re little better than beasts.”

“Yes, why do you bother?” Mai asked.

No answer was forthcoming, and Mai hadn’t expected one. Chouno ordered a gin and tonic.

“So why are you hiding back here, Mai-onee?” Chouno asked, after a moment. “Why don’t you go to the bar in the main hall and give everyone your regards.”

“The same reason you don’t, Auntie Chouno.” Mai wasn’t about to make more of an imposing fool of herself infringing on the newlyweds’ perfect little life.

Chouno sighed wistfully. “So even that brat Hiroshi’s gotten married off now. I guess we really are the last two in the family alone and unmarried…”

“You already know I’m not alone,” Mai challenged. Her brow raised in irritation. “And you know I’m probably never going to get married either.”

“So I might still win this round after all, Mai-onee?” Chouno gave an insincere laugh. “If only because my competition wastes her time running around with girls.”

_Vivian was a lot of things, but not a waste of time._

“Don’t call me Mai-onee,” Mai shot back. “You’re two years older than me. Remember, Auntie?”

Chouno seemed to disregard this entirely. “I thought it would be easy to meet someone in my position. But all the teachers in my school are old or ugly. Karita’s a meathead. Tsuruoka’s a baldie. It wasn’t bad at first since I naturally attracted their admiration, but it’s been almost a decade and-” She heaved a sigh. “If anything, the students are worse. None of them follow the rules like good kids. After this one boy – shrimpy little thing-” She shook her head in frustration. “The number of marriage meetings I missed out on… I swear he made it so I couldn’t get my make-up to stick for over a year. It didn’t make any sense.”

“It rarely does,” Mai sulked, as she tilted the ice in her glass. “That’s just life, hon.” Her parents, Battle City, the Oricalchos. And each had lingered far past when she should have been done with them. Mai had lost a lot of time too.

They sat and drank and did not exchange words, which was the way Mai preferred it. Only to have it ruined a few moments later.

Vivian stomped up to the bar and slammed her purse down on the counter between them. One of the flyers drifted down to the counter. She waved to the bartender as she hopped onto the stool. “Alright, your family’s the worst,” she admitted, without looking at Mai.

As Vivian ordered her drink, Mai slipped a hand along the underside of her elbow, and traced the crease. It was as kind an I-told-you-so as Mai could offer.

Vivian ignored her though, turning to face the woman sitting on her other side. “But who is this? I don’t think we’ve been introduced! I’m Wong, Vivian.” She offered a polite bow of her head and a beaming smile.

Chouno raised a critical eyebrow and tapped a cardboard coaster against the bar. “The actress and model, right? From that one period drama, _Romance of the Lost Dynasty_?”

Either Vivian missed Chouno’s scathing tone, or the delight of being recognised eclipsed it. “That’s me!” she practically squealed. “Are you a fan of the show?” She quickly dug through her purse and stacked a coupon book, flyer, and two brochures, each unique, into her left hand.

“I’ve seen a few episodes… I’m Chouno-sensei,” she introduced.

“Oh! An instructor? Chouno- _lăoshī_ ” Vivian said brightly, seamlessly blending languages. _Yoroshiku. Yoroshiku._ She spoke Japanese in this obnoxious sing-song that may have crossed the line back into endearing - Mai couldn’t decide. “There’s something I want to give you as a little present,” Vivian went on to say, delicately handing her the papers stacked in her hand. “If you’re ever in Shanghai, my cousin and his family just opened up a spa and resort. And this book has discounts on all sorts of beauty treatments, acupuncture, relaxation and recovery. If you say Vivian sent you, they’ll definitely take care of you – my family to yours. And I’ve also included a flyer about investment opportunities-”

“It’s a pyramid scheme,” Mai cut in.

“It is _not_!” Vivian protested, elbowing Mai in the ribs. “I don’t know why you always have to ruin my sales pitch! It’s _nice_ , okay?! It’s a nice thing to do for my cousin, a nice thing to offer to your relatives, and a nice thing to do to bring both our families together! And you always have to go and ruin it!”

“Well, I don’t want to bring our families together,” Mai protested. “I want them to keep them as far away from possible from everything that’s good and wonderful about you.”

“Idiot woman,” Vivian fumed. Mai supposed it was a good thing, in its own backwards way, that Mai now said these kind of frank and flattering things frequently enough that Vivian wasn’t completely derailed by them.

“I’ve always wanted to visit China.” Chouno was flipping through the brochures. “What kind of skin treatments does your cousin’s resort offer? Anti-wrinkle? Is it surgical?”

“Finally!” Vivian cheered. “Finally _someone_ has a normal, friendly response!” She swivelled in the barstool and leaned over Chouno’s part of the counter, as she pointed at different lines and coupons and walked Chouno through the different treatments that were available.

Mai tried her best to ignore as the bartender dropped by with an overly orange mai tai. Vivian swiped it up and sloshed over the side of the glass, as she laughed a little too loud at Chouno’s insincere questions. Began to ask how she was enjoying the wedding.

After a moment Chouno peered up over Vivian’s head. “She’s more feminine than you, Mai-onee,” she announced. “I was wondering which one of you it was, since you’re all about long hair and push-up bras. But talking to her for a second, I see you’re way more masculine and aggressive.”

Vivian giggled rather girlishly and pursed her lips around the rim of her glass. No doubt she was tickled pink to have been identified as the sweet and demure one.

_Spoken like a true buffoon who’s never seen Vivian dropkick a man twice her size_ , Mai thought about saying. But in the end she just turned to Vivian. “Can I speak with you privately for a moment?” she asked, stepping up from the barstool.

Vivian switched languages. “ _You can’t just say it in Chinese?_ ” she pouted. “ _Or German?_ ” But she let Mai pull her up by the elbow to a more secluded corner within this secluded corner of the reception hall.

“Why are you doing this?” Mai asked. “Why are you getting along with her?”

“Why shouldn’t I get along with her?” Vivian protested. “It’s nice that I’m getting along with your cousin.”

There were a lot of things wrong with that statement, Mai thought. And she started with the first on the list: “She’s my aunt.”

Vivian crossed her arms and jutted her chin up. “Well, you both seem like you’re the same age,” she said.

“She’s two years older than me,” Mai put in. “She’s my great uncle’s child, so the extra generation makes her my aunt.”

“You know I can’t keep track of your crazy family tree right?” Vivian teased.

“Fine by me,” Mai groused. “But nobody likes her. Her dad, Mr Chouno, was working for the family at some point. Social climber. And she’s the same way. She used to have her mom set up marriage meetings just so she could reject her suitors. Though I guess at some point she realised she better reject them before they discovered her rotty personality and rejected her instead.”

“You certainly have a lot of bad things to say about her,” Vivian said. “Which is weird for you. You talk about how much you hate the rest of your family too, but you can never actually tell me what’s wrong with them.”

_Because there was nothing to say about the rest of them_ , Mai thought. They hadn’t done anything wrong. They just hadn’t cared about her. They’d taken her in at her most vulnerable after her parents had died and been perfectly decent. If distant. If dismissive. If occupied with their own children and not her. And Mai could never forgive them for it, at least in part because there was nothing distinct enough to forgive.

Mai redirected her thoughts back to Chouno. “She’s fake. And vain. She draws that stupid beauty mark under her eye. It’s not real – just the make-up she cakes on her face every morning.”

Vivian’s mouth scrunched in a sharp line. “Didn’t you get a rhinoplasty?” Vivian asked. “Breast implants? Double eyelid surgery?”

“You got double eyelid surgery,” Mai shot back pettily.

“I know I did, fool woman,” Vivian swatted her on the shoulder. “That’s my point. How is it any different? Aren’t you being a little unfair with Chouno- _lăoshī_?”

Mai felt, very distinctly, she was not at all being unfair. And the fact that she had nothing to say in her defence didn’t change that.

Vivian gave her a smug smile, like she’d won the argument, and marched back to the barstool to sit at Chouno’s side.

Mai readjusted the sleeves of her black leather jacket and scowled at the place where Vivian had left their conflict abandoned. But Mai couldn’t even figure out what that conflict was, really, and after a moment she followed after to retake her place at the bar. She took her seat, ordered a drink, and listened in.

“Men aren’t so complicated,” Vivian was telling Chouno. “Or, no, maybe they are. I’m not sure… But let me show you the trick that drives Mai wild! It works on guys too!”

She proceeded to pick the Maraschino cherry from the top of her drink, and showed it to Chouno before eating the fruit. Swallowed. She presented the stem, before sticking that in her mouth too. There was a moment as her jaw worked, and then she picked the edge of the stem from her mouth, tightening its knot as she pulled it against her teeth.

“Ta-da!” she announced, as she pulled the knotted stem free.

Mai sighed.

“Congrats.” Chouno did not sound at all enthused.

“C’mon, you try too!” she announced. “Bartender! Can you get us more cherries, please?!”

Pretty soon there was a glass bowl of them set out, like bright wax candies. And Vivian was walking Chouno through the steps of her little tongue trick.

“You pull it along the edge of your gum, and then- bam!” She pulled another one free from her mouth. “Show this trick to anyone and, well- I guarantee if they’re worth your time at all, they’ll at least think you’re a lot of fun.”

Mai thought back to when she’d met Vivian, in the bar after the Pan-Asia Duel Tournament. Mai had been soul searching, after she’d cut ties with that cult she and Valon and the others had gotten drawn into, and Vivian had indeed been fun and seemingly carefree and ready to take her backpacking on the Great Wall.

Mai didn’t realise she’d started leaning against Vivian’s shoulder. But Vivian’s hair was in her face and the collar of her cheongsam, and Mai doubled down as she laid into her side.

Vivian was chatting with Chouno about her career, and cheering on her attempts with the cherry stems, but she let herself be interrupted as she swivelled in her seat to face Mai.

Mai slumped down and wrapped her arms around Vivian’s waist.

Vivian pushed her up in a movement that Mai knew was only meant to appear brusque. “What’s wrong with you today, huh?” She leaned in and stabbed an accusing finger at Mai’s heart.

Mai considered for a moment, before scooting forward on her barstool and leaning in to tug Vivian’s bottom lip with her teeth.

Vivian scoffed. “I don’t think you’re helping my popularity here,” she accused. “This isn’t one of your stupid German clubs where we can get away with kissing in public. You really have it out for me, don’t you?”

Mai continued to alternate between biting Vivian’s lip and softly kissing the indents her teeth left behind, until Vivian relented and hoisted her up by the shoulders to mash their mouths together properly.

“Āiyā~ Alcohol breath,” Vivian murmured, before pressing against Mai with her too talented tongue.

“I guess you guys are lucky after all,” Chouno interjected loudly.

It was enough to kill the mood. Mai broke the kiss and glared at Chouno over Vivian’s shoulder.

Chouno shrugged. “You might be pathetic old maids that have taken to one another because no man can stand you, but at least you have each other. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I’m your age, Mai-onee.”

“You’re two years older than me!” Mai hissed.

“Okay, I’m beginning to see what you don’t like about her,” Vivian whispered as she disentangled herself from Mai.

“You mean that she’s a bitter old bitch that likes to spit on others.”

Chouno wrinkled her nose. “And here I thought Mai-onee was the kind of rebel that thought the word ‘bitch’ was a compliment.”

“Cut it out, both of you!” Vivian announced, as she pressed Mai back into her seat. “Alright! You’re both forcing my hand! It’s time for Vivian’s Last Resort!”

Vivian climbed up on her wobbly barstool. Which was alarming enough as it was, even before she proceeded to step up onto the counter and drop behind the bar.

The bartender was quick to rush to where she was. “Miss, you can’t be back here!”

“It’s a bar in Japan, so there has to be one,” Vivian was saying. “At least somewhere in this reception hall. There can’t _not_ be a karaoke machine.”

“Get back over here, Viv,” Mai commanded. “You can’t be serious?”

“Why not?” Vivian snapped. The bartender had already been convinced to set up the speakers. Vivian had found the microphones, and reached over the counter to prod Mai in the head with one. “It’s a classic. Maybe it will shock you out of- Ooh! That one looks fitting! A real oldie!” she said as she flipped through the song catalogue.

Vivian pushed drinks, flyers, and purses out of the way and climbed back up to sit on the bar counter, facing out towards the rest of the room. She passed the microphones out to Chouno and Mai on either side of her, before crossing her legs and bracing herself against the counter with one arm. The way she half reclined over it was no doubt an uncomfortable position to hold, but it did create a nice sensual swooping curve between her hip, down to her waist, and up to her shoulder. She looked every bit the gorgeous starlet as she raised the microphone to her lips and began to sing mournfully in tune with the music.

More of Mai’s relatives were starting to gather at the entrance to this side room of the reception hall, peering in to see Vivian projecting her voice with all the skill of a woman several decades in the business. Mai could practically see her flourish at the attention.

And then Mai watched as Chouno scrambled to turn on her microphone, and lean back in her stool against the bar counter. She began to sing in a voice that was, if not as well trained, was appropriately raw: _The woman withering on that perch – those who have difficulty turning away and moving on~_

Mai scoffed and turned towards the bar, away from both of them and her nosy relatives at the door. But she supposed they’d grown on her for a reason. She looked behind the bar where the screen with the lyrics had been set, and she lifted the microphone up to her lips and bellowed.

**Author's Note:**

> BGM: Kobayashi Sachiko’s [とまり木](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45FPiymS1kg)  
> Translated as _Perch_ or _Barstool_.


End file.
